y’all, one of my favorite bloggers, amber, over at pb+j babes shared her mama confessions and i died laughing…and then was super thankful that a mama who rocks this parenthood thing is just. like. me. i had to make my own post and you guys are always the sweetest in supporting…so here it goes. 3 babes vs. 1 mama.

you guys couldn’t be any sweeter with all the love and support, but let’s be honest for a sec, k? i try to keep it real here. i won’t talk about a product/shop i don’t love and stand behind. i try to show every aspect of motherhood…and friends, it’s not always pretty. apparently though, it’s been a lot of rainbows and sunshine because a lot of you have reached out looking for some advice and wondering how i ‘do it all’…i’ll let you in on a secret…i don’t..and while i love to share the good times and you don’t come here to read a whole bunch of depressing stuff…it’s sometimes nice to know you’re not alone in the chaos. and trust me… i’m right there with you. i don’t live in a world of rainbows and sunshines and don’t ever want to paint a picture that we don’t struggle on a regular basis.
let’s find some humor in all the ways i’m failing, shall we?!
forewarning. there’s a lot of boob talk in this one… toddlers + nursing a baby = lots of questions. hilarious questions.
almost all of these can be followed by a hand-smacking-face emoji.

..one..
we were out for a walk one day and lila had to pee…so naturally, out in the country, with no one around, we taught them how to squat… it’s 100% kicked me in the tush. it’s now a daily happening i will catch one of them {mainly lila} taking her pants down to squat…including target.

..two..
every time i change miller… “you touching mill-ah’s peanut?”…uhhh.

..three..
i never experienced any negative feedback while nursing the twins in public… i’ve now had 3 complete strangers make rude comments about me breastfeeding in public in the last week… and i might add i’ve been more covered with miller than i ever was with the twins. #normalizebreastfeeding

..four..
“i drink-a mama’s boob?” no. no, you can’t.

..five..
i overheard my mom yelling,’piper! what’s in your mouth?! what is that?… oh dear…’ and my mom then hands me my nipple shield that she was sucking on.

..six..
i’ve peed my pants…twice. while trying to make it to the bathroom in public..sooo that’s awesome.

..seven..
me: ‘what do you want for breakfast?’
piper: ‘syrup’
me: ‘well, how about we have pancakes with syrup?’
piper: ‘nooo, i want syrup right nooooooow!’
me: ‘fine. here’s some of syrup for your cheerios.’
they were the multi-grain at least. and it was only like 3 drops. and i was trying to feed miller.

..eight..
as i’m nursing miller in my carrier, in the checkout line at the grocery… again, to a 16-18 year old boy {i swear there are never any other cashier options.}
cashier: hi! you girls are very cute! how are you?
lila: ‘mill-ya eat-a mama’s boob’
cashier: ‘what did you say, sweetie?!’
me: ‘nothing, she said she was fine!’
piper {screaming}: ‘uh, MILL-A EATING MAMA’S BOOB!’
me: …
cashier: oh…ok.

..nine..
i’ve officially mastered the art of washing my hair as infrequently as possible…by about day 6 my hair is 90% dry shampoo. and then i can still get a day or two out of a ball cap.

..ten..
my first day alone with all 3 kids for the entire day…
i was peed on.
pooped on.
diarrhea down the hall.
600 {literally} tiny hair rubber bands all over my bedroom + bathroom.
and two little someones had already been in time out…twice.
all by 9:15am.

happy monday, friends! i’m going to go drink my second cup of coffee!

SaveSave