this post is sponsored by Olay. all thoughts and opinions are 100% my own.

spoiler alert: you can’t do it all..but you can love all you do.

we’ve always wanted a ‘big’ family…and by ‘big’ i mean more than the standard 2 that seems to be deemed as acceptable by most. our first date consisted of talk of family plans with 4 kids in our future…and i also walked away from that date telling my mom i was going to marry this man {for a million reasons}. here we are, 3 babes later, and life is CRAZY with a capital C. but do you want some truth? we are happier than we’ve ever been. our marriage is stronger, we laugh harder, love deeper, communicate more clearly, have more patience, and enjoy life more than we ever thought possible. so…how do we do it?!
we let the good times overshadow the chaos.

as a stay at home mama, or even a work-outside-the-home mama, it’s often times easier to skip out on the ‘fun’, stay home more than you go out, get through the day and wonder what the heck you actually achieved and lose yourself in the day to day of laundry, lunches, dishes and monotony of changing diapers + wiping bums.
it really can be a thankless, tiring job raising tiny humans but let me tell ya, friend, don’t believe those lies or let the fear of failure, messiness, tantrums, or embarrassment keep you from truly enjoying all the amazing moments. i’ve heard a million times…’oh, i could never manage 3 kids so young.’ or, ‘man you have your hands full.’ or, ‘i can’t believe you did THAT by yourself!’ or, ‘you’re so brave to go out with them alone!’…so how did we get here? how is it that i manage 3 kids, ages 1-3 {and even a 2 month old + 2 2 year olds}, at the store, library, YMCA, playdates, Kings Island by myself and actually HAVE FUN?!
here’s some lessons i’ve learned along the way…

wake up before the kids
i read this 1,000x when we were deciding whether i would stay at home with the kids and this is THE biggest deal breaker for me in our day to day. on the rare occasion i let my kids be my alarm clock, i can almost guarantee i will be chasing my tail the entire day. get up. get yourself a cup of coffee. unload the dishwasher, make breakfast, read the bible, journal…. i don’t care what you do. but get up before the kids and do something productive…even if that’s just shower + put some clothes on.

save time when possible
this is a tricky one..but what i mean is if you can find items/products that take care of two problems at once….do it. sometimes that means paper plates for dinner. for me… it means having eyelash extensions + using 2-in1 products that save time in my day to day routine, like olay whip Luminous with SPF 25. . i certainly don’t have time to spend more than 5 minutes putting my face together and olay whips {the unicorn of moisturizers} is a primer + moisturizer all in one. i usually have to pick between something powerful but sticky or lightweight but doesn’t do the job… and i’m always oily + shiny by 3pm…but not now! i’ve been using the Luminous: Lasting Radiance without Shine which is a brightening formula which evens skin tones + minimizes the appearance of pores. it is formulated with PearOptics science for lasting radiance….perfect for hiding this tired mama’s dark circles!

be present
it is REALLY easy to get caught up in the to-do lists, social media tapping and trying to do a million things all at once. mama’s are pros at multi-tasking and cramming 3 days worth of stuff into 1…but, don’t let a day go by without spending 1 hour of interrupted time with your babes. look at them when they talk. kneel down to look in their eyes, say ‘yes’ to dress up and sing that extra song. we’re busy…but invest that time, fill their ‘bucket’ with love and you will all be happier.

choose your battles
3 year olds. enough said, right?! times 2…these tiny humans are learning the ways of the world and it’s all about trial + error. i let the girls dress themselves and somedays that means shoes + shirts are on backwards…. water is spilled on the floor when they try to get their own water.
other times this looks like i had a deadline for this space and we’re eating a frozen dinner or chicken nuggets…again. at any given time if you show up to my house you are likely to see at least 2 loads of clean laundry waiting to be folded on my couch …there’s currently 5 starting right at me because i chose a shower + to clean the bathrooms today.
you can’t do it all…so choose your battles.

cheer yourself on
one thing i’ve learned from my 2 years at home is that you MUST be your biggest cheerleader. when i was a teacher + behavior analyst, i worked amongst other adults who were constantly uplifting each other. we had a tough class? a kiddo with extra tough behavior that was exhausting to all parties? a day where nothing seemed to go right??… i had a co-worker, or many times 5 who were there encouraging me along the way. we had a system and it was a GREAT support system. guess how many people i now have thanking me for unloading that dishwasher? cleaning up the 500th toy? changing the 5th diaper? catching the throw up? cleaning up breakfast??… don’t get me wrong, zach does an amazing job of saying, ‘thank you’ when the opportunity arises and we’re definitely teaching the kids manners…but day in and day out? slim to none.
hear me out, i’m not complaining…this is 100% what i signed up for and i don’t want anyone else doing those jobs…but get really good at, ‘great job unloading that dishwasher, mama!’ ‘wow, that was a lot of patience!!’
it will serve you + your mental health well!

take time for yourself
i can NOT express how important this is. we usually have it worked out that 3 weeks out of the month, i have an evening to myself to go to a mother of twins club meeting or girls night for apps/drinks, it could be grocery shopping solo, reading a book for an hour at nap time or get your nails done every 2-3 weeks… however you decompress and enjoy yourself, TAKE THAT TIME. you are human and believe it or not, you were a person before those babies came along so take some time to enjoy the things you love! you will come back more refreshed and able to ‘mom’ that much better!

make your marriage a priority
remember that smoking hot guy you fell in love with?? prioritize him. if there is one thing i learned from my parents’ divorce as an adult {they got divorced just months after we had gotten married}, it’s that your marriage MUST be the priority. parenting little kids is hard and i have a tendency to give them every ounce of my effort during the day and by the time bedtime rolls around, i’m exhausted with little energy left for anyone else. some day though…these babes are going to fly and your best friend will be right by your side. so for as much as you invest in those babes, invest in your marriage, too.
date your spouse. have sex. talk about your kids. talk about everything except your kids.
make your marriage a priority.

food + touch {and sleep}
i read an article about 2 years ago that has stuck with me and i wish i could find it now because it was pure gold. the main point that stuck with me is that kids {and husbands, let’s be honest} need food + touch to feel loved. i now find myself repeating myself over and over when we’re in the throes of tantrums…’food + touch. food + touch’. the only thing i’d add to this is sleep… food, touch + sleep.
it can solve all your problems.

plan + prep ahead
the key to getting anywhere on time {and by on time i mean 5 minutes late is exceptionally acceptable trying to get 3 toddlers anywhere…} is to plan ahead. make lunches the night before. pack the diaper bag full of snacks. lay out clothes the night before and on the days you have to get out of the house, 100% have yourself ready before it’s time to get the kids together.

grace, upon grace, upon grace
at the end of the day, sweet mama, you’re doing the best you can…so if there’s one thing you remember, have grace with yourself. love those babies, read that extra bed time story or go get that glass of wine if you need some alone time.
you got this, mama, and i promise, you can learn to love the chaos!