when you’re a new mom, you feel like you know nothing…that teeny baby {or in our case, those tiny babies} are placed in your arms and they don’t come with a guidebook….or come with so many your head is spinning. unmedicated vaginal births to emergency {or heaven forbid a scheduled} c-section. breastfeeding is best. but cover up. wait, no, don’t cover up. snuggle your baby…but not too much. sleep training. potty training… i can go on and on and at some point, everyone has experienced that guilt that whispers in your ear, ‘mama, you’re not enough.’

when the twins were little, i felt like such a failure in so many ways. part of it was the fact that i had no clue how to care for two 3lb {less than 2.5lbs at one point}  babies who were so sick and i was terrified. the other part was that i had spread myself so thin that i couldn’t do any of my ‘jobs’ well: wife, mom, behavior analyst, friend, daughter, sister. i was drowning and it was the worst feeling in the world. zach + i sat down, had a heart to heart and decided together to get rid of some of my hats. i wanted nothing more than to be a mom, so i quit my full-time paid job and focused solely on our family.

fast forward to those teeny babies now being 3.5 years old with a baby brother who’s not so baby-ish anymore with a 4th on the way… i’m happier than i’ve ever been. i’m a better mama + wife than i was before and life is simply sweeter.

i’ve learned a LOT and i know i have so many more lessons coming my way, because let’s be honest, absolutely no one has this mamahood thing figured out… but for those of you who are in the midst of it all with me, or those who just need a good reminder that you’re rockin this mamahood thing… read on, my friend, and if you read nothing else in this whole post, i hope #5 sinks in for you.

5 lessons mamahood has taught me

..one..
mama knows best
the very first lesson i learned in being a mama was that mama knows best. i will never forget the neonatologist explaining that lila’s lung had collapsed when she was only 3 days old and by the books, she needed a chest tube..but he had this feeling that she could handle it. it wasn’t going to be pretty for a few days and we wouldn’t be able to hold or talk to her, but he thought she could heal it. then, looking at me square in the eye, he said, “are you okay with that plan? what do you think?” i stared blankly at him and said, ‘uh…’ to which he quickly replied, ‘you need to learn this lesson right now. YOU are her mother. you were given these babies and yes, i am a doctor, but i promise i will always listen to you if you feel like something is off, something is wrong, or she is not okay.” it was the best pep talk i’ve ever been given and it gave me purpose. there are times you have to advocate for your kid, times when something just doesn’t seem right. but YOU were given that sweet babe and mama always knows best.

..two..
order your groceries/diapers/etc. online
come spring, we’ll have 4 under 4… let me tell ya how grocery trips go: c.h.a.o.s. i inevitably forget 5 items on my list and wind up having to make a second trip later that day. meijer curbside pickup was the first ‘order ahead, pick-up at the store’ grocery service in our area and it quickly became the main way i grocery shop. it’s the easiest way for me to meal plan and make sure i have all the groceries/supplies i need…then just swing through, they put the groceries right into your car and your off!
when it comes to our babes, us mamas {rightfully} expect it all…and yet especially in the baby department, we are always forced to compromise. the new pampers pure protection diapers are the first product that combines premium cotton and other thoughtfully selected materials…with the same pampers protection we know + trust. miller has randomly had very sensitive skin + diaper rash and the pampers pure protection wipes have been sensitive enough for his little bum! pampers aqua pure wipes are 99% pure water + a touch of premium cotton and have been a lifesaver for us! be sure to check out the pampers pure collection of diapers + wipes at meijer today if you’ve been looking for a quality option in the ‘natural’ category without sacrificing performance…and each size has the most darling, subtle prints. 

..three..
don’t compare your children
this seems like a no-brainer but each child develops at their very own pace. of course, there are guidelines for development and if something seems off, consult your physician…but overall, most kids will walk when they’re ready, talk when they’re ready, be toilet trained and sleep through the night before they go off to college. piper didn’t walk until she was over 16 months and she had braces on both of her legs but her communication was right on point. lila on the other hand was walking just fine but was in speech therapy to help her learn to talk. each kiddo is different!

..four..
treat each babe as an individual
again, this seems silly to write, but it’s unbelievable the number of times i’ve been asked if the girls like the same things and have the same personality. yes, they’re 2 minutes apart in age, yet they are polar opposites in personality and basically every other aspect of life. they process, learn, love, explore, prefer, eat..everything… differently. while that’s challenging, it also makes life that much better. the biggest thing i’ve taken from this as a mama to 3 is that they need their ‘cup’ filled differently in order to feel fueled. lila wants to play games and color 1:1 and the second she asks me to do something with her, i know she’s needing some attention. piper on the other hand is all about touch. i don’t have to really do anything, although she loves being read to…but if i can give her a squeeze, tickle her arm for a few minutes or play with her hair, she’s getting that cup filled. i’m still figuring mills out but so far he seems like he’s very similar to lila that he needs 1:1 play time. currently, his favorite downtime activity seems to be playing cars together. whether it’s filling their cup, coming up with reinforcements for positive {or addressing those negative} behaviors, each child is different. their wants, needs, etc. are different and just because child 1 did it one way does not mean it will work for child 2 {or 3 or 4}, and that’s okay!!

..five..
they don’t want a perfect mom, they want a happy mom.
if you remember nothing else from this post, remember this. they don’t want a perfect mom, they want a happy mom.
we fail. a lot. we’re human, and despite our best efforts, we have days where we yell, don’t pay enough attention, our patience is short and i can come up with a laundry list of other things i have done ‘wrong’. but ya know what?? mamahood isn’t a pass/fail class. you love you’re babes. you love them hard. the countless sleepless nights, the tears we’ve shed…it’s all because we love our babies and at the end of the day, when nothing has gone right, your kids will remember the good times. they don’t want a perfect house. or a perfect paycheck. or the perfect pinterest-worthy DIY projects or even the best home-cooked meals. THEY WANT A HAPPY MOM. the to-do list will eventually get done and if you’re not to this point,, i urge you to seek whatever you need to, to understand they want happy…so be their happy!

a HUGE thank you to pampers pure for sponsoring this post! as always, opinions expressed are 100% my own!