When we last left off {here}, it was Mother’s Day 2015 and I had spent the last few hours in the Perinatal Intensive Care Unit (PICU).

I had been in the antepartum unit on hospital bedrest for 3.5 weeks due to vasa previa (VP) when I started having contractions.  I will forever be thankful to my medical team as I was in the hospital when it started (proper management with VP) so that it could be managed quickly.  You pray for a really boring hospital stay (in my case, we were hoping for 6 weeks on hospital bedrest), but you’re prepared for the worst.

and the worst can happen.

I have spoken to too many women who have had to experience what no family should ever have to go through in the loss of their sweet baby due to mismanagement or failed diagnosis of vasa previa.  

one is too many with a condition that can have up to a 95% survival rate with diagnosis and proper management.

If you have happened upon my blog due to a search for VP, make sure you are following the IVPF guidelines – it could save your baby’s life.  

…back to it…

They wheeled me into the OR to be prepped while Zach changed into his scrubs.  Because of the situation, I was so blessed to be able to be awake for when the girls were born, praise God, and Zach was able to be there too.

About 11:00 that morning, they had cut me off from all food and drinks because of the risk that I would wind up in surgery that day.  I was still having ‘morning all day sickness’ if I didn’t eat and drink soooo, although they gave me the usual anti-nausea meds through IV, it just wasn’t enough. I was talking myself out of losing it all over, however as soon as we got the epidural… welp.

SO, my arms are out on the tiny table, I literally was puking my brains out and in walks Zach, hyped up on adrenaline showing my pictures of his ‘McDreamy poses’.  God love this man… I wasn’t quite sharing his enthusiasm and I think my reply was, “If you don’t get this puke off of my face…”

The anesthesiologist was amazing and kept my mind off of the craziness, asking me to share everything I could about each of the girls.  Their personalities, similarities and differences, etc.  It really helped me to be excited about what was going on . . . we were getting ready to meet our babies.

It really is a strange and out of body experience.  I had been so scared. crying. bargaining with God to keep them inside. but here we were, in the operating room, minutes away from meeting our girls… it was time to get excited.

If you’ve had a c-section you know there are tons of people in that tiny little room.  Bright lights….but with twins, just double it.  I was amazed.  Not only that, but we knew they were going to NICU, so add in the NICU team.  It was crazy.  SO much hustle and bustle.

So they began. At one point I realized I could watch what was happening by looking at the reflection in the light… but also realized that made me really nauseous again.  so I stopped.  Zach held my hand with the anesthesiologist and then I started dozing.  I kept telling the doctor to take me off of whatever I was on because I had to be awake to see the girls, but she assured me it was the exhaustion of being in labor for so long and the adrenaline because I wasn’t on anything.  I was going in and out but when the doctor told me they were almost here, a second wind hit.

Zach started videotaping…

9:29pm: First came Lila.  She was Baby A and out she came screaming.  Thank God. All I wanted was to hear her and we did.  They held her up for 3 seconds so I could catch a glimpse before the NICU team had to take her.  She had the VP and she was at risk for rupture so when she was here, all nerves in the room seemed to settle.

9:31: It was Piper’s turn.  They went to cut her out and I heard them say she was stuck. So they pulled, readjusted, pulled, pulled.  She had been sucking her thumb, bless her heart.  I heard them say the cord was wrapped around her neck and my heart dropped.  They set her down, picked her up to show her to me for .5 seconds and she wasn’t moving. She wasn’t making a sound…so they handed her off as quickly as possible.

Zach gave me a kiss and I rushed him off to go be with the girls and check on them.

I begged them to take pictures of the girls placentas so I could see the vasa previa… it’s wild. Praise God I had a diagnosis because Lila wouldn’t have made it through a hemmorage or vaginal delivery. 2/3 veins were exposed and laying right across my cervix.

Lila’s placenta presented itself at about a 42-43 week old placenta and Piper’s looked like a 31 week placenta.

The science behind it fascinates me and I’m so glad I have the pictures to visually understand.  Although I’m not posting here, if you are interested, I’m happy to share.

Zach came back and announced that both girls were doing great and my heart exploded.

Lila: 3 pounds 13 ounces

Piper: 3 pounds 3 ounces

Piper’s arm was blanched from the cord being wrapped around her but all things considered, both babes were crying, on CPAP  and were getting stablized in the NICU.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above” James 1:17

They finished closing me up and wheeled me to Recovery.  I sent Zach to NICU and asked for my mom and sister to come be with  me in recovery.  I didn’t want to the girls to be alone and they needed their Daddy.

And so there we were, we were officially a family of four with two sweet babies in NICU, but alive.  They were so strong, so determined, so so perfect.

Through all of the pain, worry, fear and exhaustion, I couldn’t stop smiling.

My babies are here. They are alive. They are ours.

Most importantly, they are His.

xoxo,

Lindsey