in case you missed it, monday i shared the first part of miller’s birth story, which you can read here.
when i left off, i was being wheeled into the operating room for a repeat c-section after our plans for a VBAC changed. i had started the chorioamnionitis infection and miller had started to show signs of distress.
i was wheeled right into the OR within about 15 minutes of deciding miller had had enough and needed to come out. i was filled with anxiety after seeing his heart beat elevated for quite some time, and yet as soon as i was wheeled in, i felt a sense of relief. it was time to meet our baby boy.
since i had already had an epidural, they just dosed it with the spinal to make sure i was totally numb.
i tend to have low blood pressure and had been having problems with it dipping since my epidural, so i continued to get some boosts to keep it at a normal level and keep the nausea at bay.
the hustle and bustle of the OR was familiar and i was comforted by the small talk of the nurses. after i was prepped and ready, zach came in and held my hand to ease my nerves. shortly after, my two favorite OB’s came in and asked if i was ready to meet miller, to which i quickly replied ‘yesssss.’ i just wanted him out safely and to have him in my arms.
because we could see that miller had been in distress with an elevated heart rate, we knew that he had potentially contracted the chorio infection, in which he would need to go to the neonatal intensive care unit for antibiotics. basically, if he had a fever when he was born, he would be considered ‘sick.’
they quickly started and i’ll be honest, i’m kinda a creep and watched the whole thing in the reflection of the lamp above. although my water had broken, i still had quite a bit of fluid. while they were cutting, imbody leaned over the curtain and said, “i just have to ask, are you potentially planning to have any more kids?” i knew what the question meant and if i wanted to have a tubal ligation. i quickly replied, ‘oh no, we’re not done…’ and started to laugh. imbody said, ‘maybe i should have asked zach’… and we all got a chuckle out of his sweet, ‘i’m not going to argue with her right now…’ we can all start a petition 😉
within what seemed like seconds, i heard the cries.
those sweet, precious, beautiful cries…
2:33pm | 8lbs. | 22 inches
after piper had made her entrance into the world and was blue and lifeless, i will never forget the horror that went through my body, making miller’s cries literally the sweetest sound i’ve ever heard in my life. instant tears on my end, he was here and he was crying. they needed to check him out knowing what he had been going through, so they instantly started doing his workup. zach gave me a quick kiss, and i immediately sent him to go be with miller.
the doctors worked quickly to get me cleaned up and i soon had this beautiful baby boy on my chest. i had said i wanted to do skin to skin as soon as possible and they brought him over as soon as they could to put him on my chest.
then the news came.
he had a temperature.
he was sick + i was devastated.
i tried to not let it steal the joy of holding our sweet little boy just moments after he was born, but i couldn’t help but feel like it was my fault.
then the most wonderful thing happened. i am someone who has seen the power of skin to skin time with babies and we got to witness it again.
we kept miller on my chest as long as we could while they were finishing closing me up and i even was able to start nursing.
i was SO happy to hold our baby and we studied his every feature, kissing every ounce of baby i could reach.
melissa stayed close and helped me to nurse when i couldn’t really do much, but she guided him and he knew just what to do.
it was perfect.
by the time it was time for me to head to recovery, miller’s temperature had dropped. while it was still elevated and a concern, it was amazing what being skin to skin had done.
..such a proud daddy..
we finally were wheeled into recovery and we went right back to getting him to nurse as soon as possible. melissa seriously is a god-send and i think i thanked her hundreds of times… i swear it made all the difference in the world having a nurse who was so supportive of my wishes and helping me when i couldn’t do it myself.
as soon as we were back in recovery, amanda came back and continued to document our delivery.
…goodness this face…
‘if you only knew what i’ve been through…’
shortly after they got his footprints, it was time for him to go to NICU.
it was important for him to start antibiotics as soon as possible, so a very tearful mama kissed mills and watched him get wheeled away.
those next few days at the hospital were pretty tough.
i was so sick, was constantly vomiting and trying to go down to miller’s room for every feeding. i was determined to be there and also knew that the walking, although painful, is so helpful for healing. my hormones were off the charts and i bawled my eyes out every time i left his room.
the cultures from his bloodwork kept coming back with good news, praise god… it was just a waiting game.
they continued take miller’s blood to check if the bacteria had grown and it never did…. the antibiotics were working and late Saturday night our handsome boy was discharged to the regular nursery and could be with us again.
it was the best feeling in the world to have our little man be ‘ours’. NICU is a funny thing if you’ve ever had to experience it. the staff is incredible and after 28 days there with the girls, i have so much love and respect for them… but i wouldn’t be disappointed if we never had to step back there again as patients.
sunday was pretty easy going… we had things like miller’s hearing test that he aced, his circumcision, and a shower for me. we had a few family members stop by and I was starting to feel better physically and emotionally.
monday started out with one of the most proud moments… our big girls meeting baby miller. it was absolutely perfect and magical and i couldn’t have been more proud. Amanda came back as part of our birth story package and took “fresh 48” pictures, so we planned to have the big girls come at that time too. she snapped the most precious pictures of miller and the girls meeting him… I couldn’t be more thankful to have these beautiful moments documented.
early monday afternoon, we finally got the papers signed, packed our bags and wheeled out with our newest addition.
we arrived home, got settled and miller fed and shortly after, our big girls arrived home to smother their baby brother with love.
‘for this child i prayed and the Lord has granted me the desires of my heart.’ 1 Samuel 1:27